I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
