this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
