Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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