if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's rum buckets o'clock
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
