they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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