I have demons in me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
