I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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