I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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