just come out here and I will go home with you...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
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Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
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I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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