dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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