So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm bleeding and have questions
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
