we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
