im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
