My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
