YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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