the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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