there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
