You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just threw up on my dentist
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
