Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
