Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
