This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize