Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
