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I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You took a bar mat shot.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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