I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
