And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
