best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
