I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
