worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
