i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
