Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
