yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize