with your own penis?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
