please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
