we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
My life is pants optional.
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