shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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