So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
