i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
