Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
someone threw a dead crab at me
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
