oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish i was in the wii world.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
