So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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