Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
