If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
