This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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