dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Acid is not a monday night drug
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
