Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
