hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
we should paint friendship bongs
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
