Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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