no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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