Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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