hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
