hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
