every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
