so that wasnt chicken after all
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
