I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
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