He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
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I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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