I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
