I think i peed on brittanys purse
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
