I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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