I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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