a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
