Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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