if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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