I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
